I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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