Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
