u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
