his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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