Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
