It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
