No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
