Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
