Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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