I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
