u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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