Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
