I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
