HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
