That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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