hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
