Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
