Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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