Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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