phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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