I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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