i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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