she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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