I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
