Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
