Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
