I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
