i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
