It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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