After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
