oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
