So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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