no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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