operation have a gay friend backfired
no you cant smoke seaweed
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
