I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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