While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
