I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
