i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
