Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She needs sedatives and a leash
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Randomize
