there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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