Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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