You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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