Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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