how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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