Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
