she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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