hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
