the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The best revenge is premature balding
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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