I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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