I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
