bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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