I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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