i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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